Today was a battle of wills kind of day. Yours and mind little man. I will be honest I was so upset with you at lunch that you threw the whole meal I made for you on the floor. I felt like all the work I do for you is for nothing. Then I stepped backed and thought, you are 20 months and I'm being way to sensitive. You see, sometimes it's important to think about your actions and change the ones that don't make you happy with yourself. Sometimes even I have to re evaluate how I handle situations because Jude Momma is still learning too. We finished the day off with a grand nakey dance party, you not me:) and all was right with the world again. As I laid your little body with hair still damp from the bath I thought about how wrong I was to get upset with you and apologized the best I could. You see, momma wants to teach you how to be a good man but she also wants to be a strong, patient mother to you.
I love you Jude thank you for being patient with me, you are a good teacher.
Momma
Monday, April 16, 2012
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Mommy Jude day
Dear little boy,
Today you and I took on a day of shopping together. We live in a small town and so much of what we buy cannot be found here so it was off to the city for you and momma.
I would like to say I have it all together and that I am able to handle it all without a hitch but to be honest it is so hard. You are such an explorer. Every second of your waking hours are spent searching for something familiar and learning new things. This is absolutely wonderful when it is a time and space that makes that safe and easy but it is another thing when Momma and baby boy have to wrestle all day. Don't get me wrong you are so much fun at this stage but I need to work on my fitness soon or you will over take me:)
But you know what? I love these days of our independence and freedom. I was thinking on the way home that soon you will be too old and will be in school and I will not have my little buddy by my side 24/7 and that made me so sad. This time is so fleeting. I heard the other day it is like trying to hold water in your hand, no matter how hard you try it slips through the cracks. I want you to grow and be a strong, caring man. But at the same time I want these days to slow down and I want to hold onto your childhood. This season is so short and I want to cherish every second of it.
There were so many challenges today and yet I thought, I will have a good day and this will work. Guess what, it did and tonight as I put you to bed we read a bazillion stories because you wanted me to hold and rock you and read, and so of course I would read just one more.
Daddy working so hard for us is tough sometimes but I feel bad that he doesn't get this experience every day like I do. Jude you are my blessing and my reason for being.
I love you little man.
Momma
Today you and I took on a day of shopping together. We live in a small town and so much of what we buy cannot be found here so it was off to the city for you and momma.
I would like to say I have it all together and that I am able to handle it all without a hitch but to be honest it is so hard. You are such an explorer. Every second of your waking hours are spent searching for something familiar and learning new things. This is absolutely wonderful when it is a time and space that makes that safe and easy but it is another thing when Momma and baby boy have to wrestle all day. Don't get me wrong you are so much fun at this stage but I need to work on my fitness soon or you will over take me:)
But you know what? I love these days of our independence and freedom. I was thinking on the way home that soon you will be too old and will be in school and I will not have my little buddy by my side 24/7 and that made me so sad. This time is so fleeting. I heard the other day it is like trying to hold water in your hand, no matter how hard you try it slips through the cracks. I want you to grow and be a strong, caring man. But at the same time I want these days to slow down and I want to hold onto your childhood. This season is so short and I want to cherish every second of it.
There were so many challenges today and yet I thought, I will have a good day and this will work. Guess what, it did and tonight as I put you to bed we read a bazillion stories because you wanted me to hold and rock you and read, and so of course I would read just one more.
Daddy working so hard for us is tough sometimes but I feel bad that he doesn't get this experience every day like I do. Jude you are my blessing and my reason for being.
I love you little man.
Momma
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Maiden Voyage
Dear little Jude,
So I have wanted to do this for so long. I have wanted to see my words on this screen and tell you all the things you do that never want to forget.
You are sleeping right now and your daddy is at work. It is just you and me and I want so badly to go into your room and watch your chest rise and fall. I want to scoop you up and feel your breath against my neck. I want to feel the weight of you. But instead I sit here a room away and write you this love letter. I know you need your precious sleep and I don't want to wake you but little boy I don't want to miss a moment of your sweet day.
I plan to write you and share all the little things that I don't ever want to lose in the corner of my mind, or where ever it is those sweet little memories go that you simply can't recall. But mostly. I want you to know how loved you are.
Love Momma
So I have wanted to do this for so long. I have wanted to see my words on this screen and tell you all the things you do that never want to forget.
You are sleeping right now and your daddy is at work. It is just you and me and I want so badly to go into your room and watch your chest rise and fall. I want to scoop you up and feel your breath against my neck. I want to feel the weight of you. But instead I sit here a room away and write you this love letter. I know you need your precious sleep and I don't want to wake you but little boy I don't want to miss a moment of your sweet day.
I plan to write you and share all the little things that I don't ever want to lose in the corner of my mind, or where ever it is those sweet little memories go that you simply can't recall. But mostly. I want you to know how loved you are.
Love Momma
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